Less like a Lamp, More like a AK-47

Steve is out of town on business for the week. Somehow, the moment he left, all sorts of random DISGUSTING stuff starts happening.

Yesterday was an incident of finding unbelievable gross things THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED growing and festering in the trash. My new neighbors were privy to my screaming and near vomiting in my front yard. Charm and class, thy name is Tate.

This morning I woke up to find a GIANT wasp. In the bedroom. Chilling on my clean floor. I didn’t want to risk it disappearing and/or moving/reproducing/taking-over my closet, so I decided to kill it. Weapon options were limited.

Clearly, I can’t use my nice shoes since then I would have nasty wasp all over them and what if I broke a heel while hammering the bug into the floor. Using my book seemed like a decent idea but it’s small and paper back and not an effective bug killer (although as it turns out, “The Great Gatsby” is an excellent sleep aid). The cat was far to comfortable sleeping inside my clothes I had laid out for today, so once again, she is useless to defend my honor. My only option in close proximity was a Big Red Leather Baptist Bible.

And The Word of the Lord came heavily down to smite him. It is finished.

Driving in to work, I started to feel bad that I used Steve’s Bible to kill a wasp. Will Steve be upset that, upon his return in a few days, the Bible will still be on the floor, with a crusty wasp on it’s back cover? Will God also smite me for using His Word as a weapon against His own creation?

I emailed Steve and asked the simple question – sin or not sin? In his infinite wisdom, he quoted the Good Book itself to calm my anxiety:

Jeremiah 23:29 (King James Version) Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

Locked and loaded – KJV style.