Sandwich Tuesday

Remember back in the 90s when we bought comedy CDs? Adam Sandler couldn’t pump them out fast enough and “The Longest Pee” was every body’s favorite track. My older sister had quite a sampling of comedy albums, but my favorite was a stand up collection by Ellen Degeneres. She had a great bit when she talked about how we tend to not share good food but always share bad food, as in “this tastes disgusting – TRY IT! It really tastes like vomit!” I’d like to say I’ve never done this, but that would be a lie. I’m pretty sure I did it last weekend to my husband.

Every Monday, I anxiously await the Sandwich Monday blog to update. While working for Peter Sagal and the Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me crew seems like a dream job, I really just want to be there on a Monday for their weekly foray into the bizarre and twisted world of sandwiches. I’d be so perfect on the panel. I love weird foods! I’ll try anything (twice)! Each Monday, I pass the blog along to co-workers, hoping just one will want to try whatever the current sandwich is. No one ever did, until yesterday.

Behold, the inspiration for this week’s sandwich:

Is there anything more perfect in the world than Cheesy Poofs? The lovely Cheese Doodle? The Scrumptious Cheese Curl, made with REAL CHEESE? 14 of these babies is only 150 calories! Why eat a banana (120 calories) when you could eat 12 cheese doodles! The only thing better than cheese poofs would be converting them into sandwich form. This will require a few more ingredients.

The complicated list of ingredients is as follows (write this down):
* Cheesy Poofs (baked, so this is HEALTHY)
* Sandwich Bread (I used wheat, so this is HEALTHY)
* Peanut butter (which is full of iron, so this is HEALTHY), applied liberally to the bread

Next, pile and press those delicious nuggets of cheeziness into the peanut butter. I chose to make mine in an open face style:

Whereas my trusty co-hort/worker decided to double up the deliciousness (and contemplated making it more of a club style, triple decker, but decided to start with two):

After I folded mine, it looked more like a monster treat. In fact, this might be my go-to appetizer for the Muppets Movie this fall.

Verdict: One Tasty Sandwich. The cheese flavor doesn’t come through as much as you might think. The overall flavor is more buttery and rich than CHEESECHEESECHEESE. We both give this sandwich two orange thumbs up. Please to pass the seconds.

Author Unknown

Years ago, I decided I would blog. I would not just blog, I would blog blogS. As in multiple. A food blog, a book and movie blog, and last but not least, a fairly anonymous dating blog of my adventures on eHarmony. Captain Obvious can tell you I bit off waaaay more than I could chew. While I’d like to chalk up my failure to too much, too soon, too many unrealistic expectations, what I didn’t realize was the hardest part of blogging is not quantity but quality. I struggled to find my voice.

I read many blogs every day – some with fantastic examples of strong, developed voices, others finding their pitch and others more interested in screaming the loudest and always off key. My early blogs (which have since been lost into the abyss known as computer FAIL) were inconsistent at best. At times I’d find myself hysterically funny, only to find none of my (three) readers remotely chuckling. Other times I would throw something shallow, vain and ridiculous up to have all of my (now two) readers remark on my bizarre yet entertaining view of the world.  I felt lost.

It’s easy to play the comparison game against other, more established bloggers. I don’t have any kids, so I’m not a mommy blogger. I don’t have a horrible disease or a dead loved one, so I’m not in that circle. I don’t live int he city or in the country or in ANOTHER country, so tales from Loudoun County isn’t the pitch anyone is interested in. I don’t have a fabulous/daring/exciting/groundbreaking job, so I’m out of ideas on that one. Trying to fit myself into a category made me feel more alone and with a sense since I don’t “fit” and don’t belong and have nothing to contribute.

This is all a lie.

Maybe my stories of my cat, husband, grilling disasters adventures, tales of the midwest, and professions of love for an Under Appreciated Boy Band won’t win any awards, but that’s not what we’re here for, is it. I come to the blogs for advice, for a laugh, for a good cry – and to belong. I’ve finally found a social group my seriously introverted self feels comfortable with. So allow me to take some time to introduce myself.

Hi, I’m Kate, known as doshtate, and I’m here to stay. I hope you’ll stick around.

Less like a Lamp, More like a AK-47

Steve is out of town on business for the week. Somehow, the moment he left, all sorts of random DISGUSTING stuff starts happening.

Yesterday was an incident of finding unbelievable gross things THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED growing and festering in the trash. My new neighbors were privy to my screaming and near vomiting in my front yard. Charm and class, thy name is Tate.

This morning I woke up to find a GIANT wasp. In the bedroom. Chilling on my clean floor. I didn’t want to risk it disappearing and/or moving/reproducing/taking-over my closet, so I decided to kill it. Weapon options were limited.

Clearly, I can’t use my nice shoes since then I would have nasty wasp all over them and what if I broke a heel while hammering the bug into the floor. Using my book seemed like a decent idea but it’s small and paper back and not an effective bug killer (although as it turns out, “The Great Gatsby” is an excellent sleep aid). The cat was far to comfortable sleeping inside my clothes I had laid out for today, so once again, she is useless to defend my honor. My only option in close proximity was a Big Red Leather Baptist Bible.

And The Word of the Lord came heavily down to smite him. It is finished.

Driving in to work, I started to feel bad that I used Steve’s Bible to kill a wasp. Will Steve be upset that, upon his return in a few days, the Bible will still be on the floor, with a crusty wasp on it’s back cover? Will God also smite me for using His Word as a weapon against His own creation?

I emailed Steve and asked the simple question – sin or not sin? In his infinite wisdom, he quoted the Good Book itself to calm my anxiety:

Jeremiah 23:29 (King James Version) Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

Locked and loaded – KJV style.